One thing that I have been very lucky with in my life is having a partner whose career revolves around wellness. He is a full-time coach whose expertise revolves around creating fitness and nutrition programs that are designed to fit a specific individual and their unique needs. He is amazing at what he does and has many client success stories to prove it. In our personal life, he has been an incredibly motivating figure in my daily life who is always pushing me to better myself both physically and mentally. Overall he is my rock.
Regardless of all of these relationship perks, last month I made the decision to sign up for a nutrition coach through the company Working Against Gravity. My three month commitment includes access to an online professional, who works with me to set weekly goals and teaches me how to create a healthier relationship with food. I have access to online group support, recipes, daily tips and tricks… all of which were everything I needed to keep myself on track with my everyday food choices.
So why did I decide to pay the $160/month when everything they offered, AJ could offer me too?
When it comes to building a healthy relationship with one another, AJ and I realized pretty early on that it was very hard for us to maintain the solid line between coach and client, girlfriend and boyfriend (well, fiancée as of last week!). Although I trust and believe in everything he tells me, it was hard for me to accept his support along with his critique.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe that we all should appreciate and work towards open and honest conversations with our friends and family; however sometimes they are the hardest people to be vulnerable around. For me, having the person that I love most in this world focusing on my areas of insecurity was incredibly difficult. His feedback about my meal portions immediately made me feel fat; his encouragement to get to the gym on a Saturday immediately made me feel lazy. These were self-destructive thoughts that only I was creating, not him. The more he tried to help, the more I closed off.
It wasn’t until a month ago that I finally accepted that I needed help one way or another. My energy was low, my mood was erratic and my relationship was suffering. I was allowing myself to project all of my insecurities onto the people around me rather than acknowledge that something had to change.
But I still wasn’t ready to open up and allow AJ to help me which I realized is okay because this is my wellness journey.
My decision to invest in a nutrition coach was one that I made for myself. Too often people with anxiety fall into the patterns or habits of unnecessary guilt. For me that guilt revolves heavily around feeling like I am disappointing the people that I love. When it came to my wellness, having AJ involved put too much pressure on me to do this for him, rather than myself. By taking him out of the picture, I was able to focus fully on what I needed.
This idea rings true in many aspects of my life. It is something that I struggle with every single day. By investing in my own coach, I was investing in myself – working to heal all of the insecurities and physical issues that had been building up throughout the years. Putting myself first has helped to alleviate so much of the energy I had been wasting on fighting AJ’s feedback/critiques. My mood has improved, my energy is back to normal and my relationship has been thriving.
Oh, and the extra weight I’ve shed is just a really wonderful bonus!